


One look, one step, too late

by yohangyulnet



Category: Wanna One (Band), X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Comfort/Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2021-01-22 11:01:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21300962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yohangyulnet/pseuds/yohangyulnet
Summary: One look to make him realize,Just one step to love him,One step to put him behind because it was too late.
Relationships: Kim Yohan/Lee Hangyul | Park Woojin/Park Jihoon | Lee Hangyul/Kim Yohan
Kudos: 25





	One look, one step, too late

The two boys, Kim Yohan and Lee Hangyul, known as the taekwondo duo. Loved by their neighbours, by their family, built this amazing friendship through the years, from the very start to where they are now. They grew up together, they were inseparable, they were indeed partner in crimes. Everything they did, they did it together, they supported each other, they loved each other, they literally spent almost half of their life together. Always been there for each other no matter what, they were like brothers, lost-brothers or like everyone said they were soulmates.They even promised each other that they will have each other’s back even when they will grow old, even when they will have their own families. Until one day something happened, until one day one of them had to leave.

“Mom, do we really need to go?” Hangyul for the ninth time of the day asked his mom, almost begging on his knees. “Can we just stay here and let just dad go?” he asked again everyday hoping that his mother would change mind, hoping and praying that everything is a joke and his parents were just messing around. 

“Gyul-ah, how many times have I told you that my answer won’t change? How many times do I need to tell you we can’t leave dad alone?” his mom answered while walking back and forth from the bathroom and their bedroom all busy to pack everything they needed.

“Mom, why can’t I just stay with Hyungs?” he pleaded following her mom from the bathroom to their bedroom like a lost puppy. 

“No, Hangyul, you can’t. Why are you making it such a big deal, huh?” his mom stopped as soon as she asked that question looking at her son with so much confusion in her eyes. Hangyul gulped his own saliva and answered, “Because we are going to leave Kim’s family, i’m going to leave my best friend, mom. One of the most important person out there in my life and i’m going to leave him.” he took the courage to tell the truth to his mom. 

“Hangyul...” her eyes softened a little bit looking at his son and coming closer to him, “Sometimes.. we need to let go even the most important people in our lives.. We can’t always depend in each other.” she touched his son cheek that made him let out a small sigh. Defeated, Hangyul waited that his mom would take off her hands from his cheek before turning his own feet ready to go to his bedroom but before he could even do it he stopped right at the moment when she asked, “Uh.. Did you.. perhaps already tell Yohan about this?” Hangyul turned around as soon as he realized that he forgot to tell his own best friend because he was so focused on trying to insist his mother to stay instead of leaving.

“As expected.. You have one week before we leave. Exactly one week.” his mom said softly before turning around and going back in her room.

Hangyul took his phone out from his pocket and looked at the screen with three messages from their group chat.

He swiped the notification and read quickly the messages, he didn’t answer because mostly it wasn’t that important, he put back the phone inside his pocket and before he could enter his room, someone rang the bell and with no emotions at all he turned himself and quickly went towards the house’s door.

As soon as he opened the door, he was greeted by his best friend’s face, Hangyul almost gasped out loud making himself flinch by the coldness that he was feeling from outside.

Yohan on the other side, was feeling anxious, feeling betrayed by his own best friend, he was feeling things that he didn’t want to feel. His best friend was leaving and he didn’t know about it. Feeling betrayed by his own brother, by his own best friend because he didn’t tell him, he just heard his mom talking with his dad about it before he literally crossed the street running towards Hangyul’s house looking for an explanation. Yohan would be lying if he said that he wasn’t afraid because indeed, he was. 

Hangyul was ready to greet his best friend with a smile but seeing Yohan’s serious face he felt something inside of his chest. He knew right at that moment he fucked up. He knew that his best friend already knew.

‘’Y-Yohan..’’ he said trying to find the right words to tell him what he needs to tell him. ‘’Let me explain..’’ they both wanted to laugh because it looked like a couple cheated on the other one but it wasn’t like that, at least not now.

Both of them not knowing what they really feel for each other.

‘’So.. it’s true?’’ Yohan said letting out the breathe he didn’t know he was holding. ‘’I prayed from my house to your house that everything I heard wasn’t true.’’ he said trying not to be disappointed. ‘’So.. you are really leaving me, huh?’’ he continued letting out a chuckle while Hangyul was standing right there looking at his own best friend with his heart almost breaking. 

‘’Let me explain, please..’’ Hangyul pleaded opening the door fully so his best friend could enter, they headed silently to Hangyul’s room and in each steps Hangyul couldn’t think straight, he was lost, he didn’t know where to start and he didn’t know where to end, he didn’t know what he was feeling and he didn’t know what to say. He never thought that the day he will explain to his best friend why he was leaving would ever come, yet here they were.

“So..” Yohan started getting anxious, they were there and no one was speaking until Yohan did. He was looking at the younger one by few months searching for his eyes but Hangyul was looking anywhere avoiding Yohan’s eyes. 

“So.. Dad was given the chance to have more possibilities to be more successful in the business field we have to move out.” Hangyul said straightly trying to not stutter and after he did it, he was still feeling that heavy thing in his heart. 

“That’s amazing!” Yohan exclaimed almost jumping from the happiness, he knew how Hangyul’s dad always wanted to be successful.

Hangyul in the other hand was extremely lost, so that means it didn’t matter to Yohan if he was leaving?

“So.. where are you going? Seoul? Busan? Jeju? Well we can still finish high school together like we promised, you can stay at my house” he asked getting excited, “we will find a way but if we can’t, I’ll try my best to visit you with 뽈뽈 but you have to promise me that you’ll visit me too!” the more Yohan was speaking the more Hangyul was getting sad, his bestfriend thought he was just moving out of town but at the end he was moving out of country.

“Yoyo..” Hangyul said letting out the biggest sigh ever getting Yohan confused, “I’m not going to any city here.. in Korea, i’m actually moving out.. i’m moving to London.” and this time the one who was searching for the other one’s eyes was Hangyul. Both of them stayed in silent, they didn’t know what to say and how to continue, they were both lost, mostly Yohan while the younger one wanted just to hold his best friend but the coward he is, he didn’t do it.

“Please tell me this is not true..” Hangyul’s body snapped at the sound of Yohan’s voice, they both didn’t know how much they stayed in silent, both of them not knowing what to say. 

“I wish it wasn’t..” Hangyul whispered and finally having the courage he got up from the swirl chair going to his best friend who was sitting on his bed. Hangyul kneeled right in front of Yohan so their eyes could finally meet. 

“Fuck,” Yohan exclaimed frustrated, “Are you.. really leaving..?” he asked getting his shit together and wanting to add the ‘me’ after leaving but the coward he is too, he didn’t do it.

“I’m sorry, I kept trying to just let me stay here but my mom won’t let me.” he said softly to the boy who was sitting right in front of him. ‘’I’m sorry..’’

The both of them couldn’t talk once again, too many thoughts running inside their heads. ’’I’m sorry I couldn’t keep our promise.’’ Hangyul kept apologising while Yohan was still in his own world.

‘’Gyul.. we have our last match of taekwondo this Sunday, can you at least stay for that?’’ Yohan finally took the courage, finally had the courage to say what was running inside his mind. They promised each other they would finish high school together, they promised to win another game together, the last one before they could go to collage, one last game together but I guess both of them knew that it won’t ever be the last time because they already had their last time.

‘’Yoy-‘’ Hangyul couldn’t even finish what he wanted to say that Yohan got up so quickly and before he could even stop him he stormed out the room, ‘’Yohan, wait!’’ the younger one in panic got up quickly too and started running after his best friend. ‘’Yohan, please!’’ he quickly caught Yohan’s pace and tried to reach out to him but before he could even do it, Yohan turned his body making Hangyul stop right at the last step of the stairs. Having Hangyul in that last step of the stairs their eyes were on the same level now.

‘’I don’t know if it’s important to you our promise but for me it is and i’m sorry if i’m acting like this but please.. It might be childish but I really wanted to be with you on our last journey, it might be childish but you’ve been always there and i’ve been always there for you, it might be childish but.. fuck’’ he almost screamed frustrated, ‘’Gyul, you are my lucky charm and at the thought of you not being there makes me sick.’’ Yohan was almost in the verge of crying and the only thing Hangyul wanted to do was holding him. ‘’Please don’t follow me.’’ the older said one last time before turning himself and quickly leaving the house not giving the opportunity to Hangyul to stop him.

Hangyul couldn’t even say what he was feeling because the only thing that he was hearing was something crashing, something breaking. He couldn’t hold it anymore and the only thing he did was sitting on the stairs, letting his body fall but for the first time there wasn’t no one who could catch him, there wasn’t his best friend to catch him like he usually does because he was the one who left him fall. He didn’t know how or when he got up but he did it and now he was lying on his bed, looking at the ceiling with lots of thoughts. He wanted to cry but the thoughts weren’t letting him to do it. The phone in his pocket started to vibrate and at the thought that it might be Yohan made him jump a little, he took his phone out and reading quickly the name on the screen, he was a little disappointed but at the end he still answered. 

‘’double Han!’’ the cheerful voice on the other side of the phone said, ‘’did you read the messages..? are you down for it? are you coming with us.. because Yohan said that he has things to do with his sisters.’’

‘’I don’t know, Woojin.. I don’t know.. I don’t feel like going out.’’ Hangyul softly whispered and now that he was talking with someone he felt like crying his heart out. 

‘’Double Han.. why do you sound so-‘’ but before he could even continue, Hangyul already knew that Woojin knew what was going on, ‘’FUCK! I’m coming to your house.’’ Woojin said closing the call not hearing the softly ‘please’ Hangyul let. Hangyul was always the strongest one, physically and mentally, he was always the one who gave the shoulder to the people he loves the most, the one who always tried their best to make the people he loves happy, the one who was always be there for them, who always put everyone first then himself but now he needed to be selfish, he needed it because he was tired. 

He didn’t know how much he waited but as soon as his door opened a concerned Woojin appeared who was catching his own breathe, Hangyul sat down on his bed while Woojin came closer without saying a word. They met at the school’s dance club and clicked right after they introduced themselves, Hangyul introduced Woojin to Yohan who introduced Jihoon to Hangyul, not knowing that both Woojin and Jihoon already knew each other. The four of them became friends each passing day, they spent their free time together, they were known as ‘’the four funny boys’’ or most of the time ‘’the four handsome boys’’, they spent relying in each other and that was one of the thing that kept their friendship.

‘’Did you tell him? Well obviously, you wouldn’t be like this..’’ Woojin said almost face-palming himself, ‘’Come here, let me give you a big hug, everything’s alright.’’ Hangyul was already having his arms opened and just waited for Woojin to close the gap. Woojin chuckled a little, he rarely sees Hangyul being the softest boy and whenever he sees it he can’t help but chuckle. As expected being the youngest. ‘’He will talk to you again, double han! Don’t worry. By the way he isn’t alone, Jihoon is there with him.’’

‘’Woojin.. what if he.. won’t talk to me? What if.. I leave all of you with this mess between me and Yohan?’’ Hangyul asked still hugging Woojin who never stopped caressing his back. 

‘’Hangyul, you won’t even know if you don’t try. Stop being a coward and just go to him.. Maybe wait at least tomorrow and then talk to him,’’ they both pulled away from the hug. Hangyul couldn’t understand why he was feeling this empty, he, himself, never thought he would ever leave where his life started. Woojin stayed over the night looking after to one of his best friend, and so Jihoon did the same thing with Yohan, who on the other side, wasn’t feeling that well too. He was feeling empty too, feeling like a part of himself was leaving him and it was like that because Hangyul was his other half. 

Like Woojin, Jihoon stayed over the night at Yohan’s house.

‘’Gyul.. what if..’’ Woojin started saying while laying on the second bed that Hangyul always kept under his own so anyone who wanted to sleep at his house he could easily pull it out. ‘’No.. nevermind. Just sleep over it.’’ 

*

_Days were passing by_, two more days to Hangyul’s departure and still both of them haven’t spoken to each other. They wanted to, they needed to but both of them didn’t how and where to start. Hangyul tried his best to talk with Yohan but the coward he is he couldn’t do it. Both of them couldn’t do it. In all these years have passed this was the first time both of them couldn’t express their feelings, couldn’t tell what they wanted to say.

‘'Gyul.. what if you are feeling something for.. Yohan?’ Jihoon asked straightly in the middle of their game at Jihoon’s house. Hangyul shocked by the question he almost choked in his own saliva, he didn’t expect that question, never in his life he would expect that kind of question. This thought never really crossed his mind, never imagined himself falling in love with his own best friend. At the thought of it his heart started beating faster, maybe for being nervous, or being he was truly feeling something. 

‘’No, this isn’t true..’’ Hangyul whispered softly more to himself than to Jihoon who was looking at him worried that he might asked something that he shouldn’t have. Jihoon always watched the way Hangyul took care of Yohan, the way he always makes Yohan laugh, the way he always worries about Yohan but especially the way Hangyul looks at Yohan like he is the last person in this universe. Like if it’s his world and no one can look at him like the way Hangyul does. 

The younger one was still looking in Jihoon’s eyes asking him if what he really asked is what he actually heard, he didn’t know how and what to think, his mind was just trying to search for the answer that he might already know but he would never admit, not now. Not when someone opened the his mind,, not when he is already feeling miserably because he misses his best friend, his pretty face, his giggles, the attention he was getting from him, he was missing everything and still didn’t know how to talk with him. Didn’t know how to do it because he was feeling guilty for not holding on that promise they did because both of them knew from the very start how important that promise is.

‘’I need to go..’’ Hangyul said quickly putting all his things back in his back pack, ‘’I’ll text you later, see you tomorrow!’’ he quickly waved to his friend and bid goodbye to Jihoon’s mom too thanking her for the hospitality.

He never run that fast, like if his life was depending on it, he needed to talk with his best friend and if he didn’t he would definitely lose him, already losing him as a lover. And yes, he was admitting it, admitting it because there’s nothing to lose, right? He was already in a situation where he couldn’t think of any solution so why not add something more to think of?

He didn’t know how long he took from Jihoon’s house to Yohan’s house but he was dying from all the running he did, he arrived in front of Yohan’s house’s door and crunching down trying to catch his breathe before he could rang the doorbell.

‘’Gyul? Is that you?’ Hangyul held his breathe as soon as he heard that voice, that voice he missed so much, the way he called his name sounded so cute coming from him. He turned around to finally meet his best friend who was smiling a little forgetting everything that happened between them because Yohan too, he missed his best friend too.

‘’I’m sorry..’’ both of them said at the same time making each other giggle and making someone’s heart tremble. 

Hangyul couldn’t even talk that he was wrapped by the biggest hug ever he could receive, the younger one was surprised that Yohan was the one who started the hug, usually it’s always him the one who starts everything, he wrapped his arms around Yohan and hugged him tightly. Both of them not wanting to let go, both of them not wanting to talk but stay in each other’s arms, ‘’I’m sorry..’’ the older whispered softly holding him closer almost hearing each other’s heartbeat. ‘’I can’t believe you are going to leave me.. and we wasted our last days together not talking.’’ Yohan continued while pulling out from the hug and step back a little.

‘’I’m sorry too, for not talking with you as soon as they told me, for not having the courage to tell you what I was feeling and for not having the courage of making you stay that day even though you told me to not follow you.’’ Hangyul said almost breaking apart hurting himself even more now that he realized what he truly feels. 

‘’Please, stay over the night. Stay with me, one last time.’’ 

And so they did, they forgot about Hangyul leaving the country, they forgot everything and enjoyed the night together with Yohan’s family but especially with each other. 

  
*

_The next day_.

Hangyul left Yohan’s house early in the morning so he could go to his house and help their parents with the suitcases. He didn’t know what he was feeling, what he was thinking, he felt emptiness, a blank paper inside his chest searching for the right words to describe how he is feeling. Their flight was at 3 pm but they needed to be at the airport by 12 pm. Yohan and Hangyul already talked with each other that they will ride Yohan’s car with Jihoon and Woojin while his parents with Yohan’s parents. They never thought they would do a trip together, a long last trip to the airport.

“Are you ready?” his dad asked passing in front his bedroom, stopping right in front of it and looking at his son, “Yes, let’s go.” Hangyul said sadly looking around his bedroom, already empty. He let out the biggest sigh and taking the suitcase he closed the door behind him without glancing back another time. 

He looked around the house one last time before definitely stepping out the house one last time. In front of him there were already his three best friends not so ready to go, Yohan who was leaning again his car, Jihoon who was looking at him with a little smile and Woojin who was looking anywhere but Hangyul. They would be lying if they say they are okay.

The trip to the airport was comfortable yet silent, all of the four of them tried to lift the mood but without any results they decided to just stay in silent and enjoy their last bonding with some music in the background. 

Arrived safely to the airport the four boys helped Hangyul’s parents with their suitcase, some of their things will be send day by day. Each step they were having, each steps were getting harder to do them, harder to let everything go. Yohan who was beside his best friend put his arms around his shoulder making the younger one flinch a little, Hangyul smiled softly but looking at the ground soon after, the day he wanted would never come was here, he was going to leave his bestfriend, or how should he say, leave his love here. Yes, his love. Yet the saddest thing is that Yohan was clueless.. or maybe the both of them were clueless not seeing that both of them were in love with each other.

After the check-in, all of them were in front of the security checkpoint, the last step before leaving definitely the country. Or should we say, before leaving definitely one of the most important people in your life. Hangyul started with Yohan’s parents, thanking them for taking care of him as their second son, next were the Jihoon and Woojin, who both of them hugged Hangyul in the biggest hug ever making him cry a little, even though they met in such a short time, they were already part of the family.

‘’Call us, even if you need anything.’’ Woojin said, ‘’I’m gonna miss you so much double han’’ he said once more and hugging him once again. Double Han because the other one is Yohan while the two of them were the double Park. Hangyul looked at the last person who didn’t want to bid goodbye because that would mean leaving and at the thought of that Yohan almost cried. Hangyul took a step closer to his best friend and with full of tears that were blurring his vision, he still smiled. Smiled even though he was hurting. 

‘’Please don’t leave..’’ Yohan said after pulling closer his best friend to his body and holding him tightly with his arms. ‘’Please tell me this is a dream and I’ll wake up with you as my neighbour.’’ he didn’t know he was already crying until he realized that he was sniffling.

  * I love you.. - three words that the both of them wanted to scream at each other, three words that might change everything, three words that were difficult to say, three words that would be more difficult to let go of each other. 
  * I am sorry.. - three words that both of them wanted to say, sorry for not being able to express their feelings to each other. 

‘’Gyul, we need to go.’’ Hangyul’s mom’s voice echoed inside his head making him pull away from the hug that they didn’t know how long it lasted and still feeling the emptiness in their arms. Yohan quickly wipe off his tears, looking at his best friend, he smiled. ‘’Take care of yourself, gyul.’’ the younger one just nodded while looking at his bestfriend’s face.

‘’Win another match for me, Yoyo.’’ the younger one said softly, ‘’You’ll do great, one last time.’’ he couldn’t care anymore and let the tears fall on his cheeks, ‘’See you really soon, take care.’’ 

‘’See you soon, gyul-ah.’’ Yohan said one last time before he was pulled into a big hug from Woojin and Jihoon. The four of them hugged each other tightly and pulling off after two minutes but before Hangyul could turn his back he was looking at Yohan who was looking anywhere but him. He quickly took his hand catching the older’s attention. 

‘’Look at me one more time before I let you go.’’ Hangyul said softly making his heart break while Yohan confused of the suddenly request, he looked at the younger one making him smile a little. Hangyul pulled away his hand from Yohan’s and waving one last time he took his bag from his dad and without looking back he entered the security checkpoint with the tears blurring his vision once again. 

_ Five years later.  _

Five years later and he came back, he came back to his hometown being the next soon ceo of his father’s famous entertainment, he was beyond of being proud of his father and he didn’t want to fail him so he took the courage to be the next one. Five years and everything has changed. The last time he was here was one of the saddest moment in his life and now he came back to cover all the sadness he left. Coming back to get what he always wanted, coming back to get what should be his from the very start and coming back to start another journey of his life. During his stay in London everything became difficult, it was difficult to fit in another country, in another culture and especially in another different language. Everything was difficult but one of the hardest time was slowly losing the contact with the only person he thought was always there for him but it wasn’t no one’s fault, they had both a future to build, their life to built, the more they grow the more they realized that everything happened for a reason and it was time to be indipendent. Surely, they still knew they were there for each other but it was difficult. It really was.

‘’GYUL!!!’’ someone screamed out loud making Hangyul flinch a little and turning his body he looked at the person who called him. There he was, his beautiful best friend, both of them grew up, they looked more matured compared five years ago. Yohan was still taller than Hangyul but it didn’t bother the younger one. 

‘’YOYO!!’’ like the old times they couldn’t help but having a throwback on when they were younger and how they used to greet each other like this. Sometimes small things will never change and that was the most beautiful thing in a friendship. They both hugged each other tightly, this time was different because this time it wasn’t someone who was leaving but it was someone who was staying. 

‘’Woojin is coming back tomorrow from Busan while Jihoon will come later at my house, they can’t wait to see you!’’ Yohan said excited to have the three important people back in his life. He was feeling happy.

‘’Oh shoot! I forgot!’’ Yohan exclaimed looking behind him searching for a person while Hangyul confused started to look around him too, not until he found his bestfriend waving to someone who was getting closer and as soon as he saw Yohan, he smiled running a little so he could come closer quickly. Hangyul was getting anxious and he didn’t like what he was feeling inside. 

‘’Yu!’’ Yohan said as soon as the boy was beside him who smiled at him and at Hangyul who in the other side was feeling like he was dying inside. ‘’Yu, please meet my bestfriend, Hangyul.’’ Yohan said and then smiled at the two boys in front of him, ‘’Gyul, meet my boyfriend, Yuvin.’’ 

And right at the moment, Hangyul’s world started to crash down, everything around him stopped and the only thing he could hear was ‘’boyfriend’’ echoing inside his head.

The day Hangyul left he didn’t know that would be the last time time he would look at him before leaving him, he didn’t know because if he did then he would pulled him closer and never let Yohan go. Hangyul had **one step**, one step closer to make Yohan his but he missed that one step, that one step to love his bestfriend. And now it was too late because he is happy with someone else. He realized he was in love with Yohan by just **one look**, he realized that he will always be one step behind to love his bestfriend because it was **too late**.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first time and I'm really really sorry if my english isn't that good, it's not my first language. Please understand me.  
I hope you like it and I hope you won't kill me for this angst, thank you for reading I appreciate it, thank you thank you


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